We are now living at Mum's, a lovely little ground floor 2 bedroom unit on the Gold Coast. It has certainly been a challenge for us to learn to live with each other in such a small space, compared to the huge houses we have always lived in. The children are sharing a room, and a wardrobe, and we are all sharing the one bathroom and toilet. It certainly has its ups and downs.
It is teaching us tolerance, and teaching us patience, and also, in a way, gratitude for what we had. We are learning to be more compromising, and less attached, and appreciating more and more the moments of calm.
The kids are loving being able to go for a walk on the beach every day, and are slowly getting used to the longer commute to and from school. I must admit, it is nice to go and have a cuppa at the end of Mum's street while watching the water and talking to the pelicans!
I've realised a few things. How much washing I do on a regular basis, for one, and how much stuff we really need to live.
One of the eye-opening events of the move was the amount of rubbish we had to take to landfill.
It was truly disgusting.
I am one of those people, the one who wraps her kids lunches in fabric or recycled paper, uses steel bottles instead of buying plastic, washes and reuses EVERYTHING and only cleans with vinegar, bicarb and essential oils to try and reduce wastage and chemical imprints on our world. I refuse to use cling wrap and won't buy my kids packaged lunch box items - instead I bake for them or buy in bulk and break it down in reusable tupperware! I take my own shopping bags everywhere I go and refuse wasteful packaging left right and centre.
And yet, here I was, standing in front of a driveway full of rubbish heading for the tip. And I felt so ... RESPONSIBLE. So GUILTY. So SAD.
I am holding on to that feeling for as long as I can. I am hoping it will affect my decisions to purchase anything in the future. I think we are so used to having STUFF but when it comes down to it, most of the things we think we want or need are actually inessential and not worth it. Things don't count. People do. And time spent with people. Times where you are looking into anothers eyes and truly communicating. Sharing. That's what matters. Not stuff.
Anyway, I have vowed to be more present in my purchases for the home. I will continue to try to buy fair trade, locally and sustainably where I can, and I will reuse what I can. I still feel so guilty.
We were quite sad in the last week of the move, feeling nostalgic and attached to the property we had so lovingly tended to, where we had created new landscapes and nurtured existing ones.
Goodbye chooks, goodbye native bees, goodbye jacaranda trees with your mauve garlands every spring. Goodbye cicadas and water dragons and blue-tongues, goodbye tree snakes, kookaburras, finches, leatherheads, goannas and all our wallaby friends.
But funnily enough, by the last day, we were all over it.
When we were finally done, and finished with the property, and the keys were handed over and wew were free of it all, the horizon opened up before us. We started to think about "when we go to Cairns" and "when we get to Alice" and "when we visit Lawn Hill National Park". The past chapter was closed, and we were excited to think about what was unfolding in the chapters ahead.
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